WELCOME to the Blog!
A NOTE BEFORE THE POSTS
Creativity has been part of my identity for as long as I can remember...
And in a way, so has change.
the WRITINGS
Here are my personal stories and insights about transformation and change...
When I Feel Depressed
A memoir of becoming; written as it happened.When I Feel DepressedSeptember 26, 2018From Transmanifesto(never originally published) #DARKHOURSPresent-day intro A note before you read: this one goes into the dark. And it also comes out the other side. I’m publishing it here from the out side. Writing this at fifty years old, here on solid ground, […]
How I’m Healing My Internalized Homophobia and Transphobia
A memoir of becoming; written as it happened.How I’m Healing...November 22, 2018From Transmanifesto(never originally published) #ANDTHENLIFEPresent-day intro: July 8, 2026This is one of the lost drafts I DEF understand why I never published...Admitting that you’ve carried the exact judgment that you’ve been on the receiving end of isn’t just hot take... It feels more like […]
How to Pee in Texas (as a Transman)
A memoir of becoming; written as it happened.How to Pee in Texas...September 25, 2018From Transmanifesto(never originally published) #LIFEOf all the things I could write about, here we are: in the toilet. I drafted this in 2018, when bathroom bills were the weather in Texas, and never published it. I'm publishing it now because the awkward […]
The Truth About My Body
A memoir of becoming; written as it happened.the truth about my bodySeptember 9, 2014From Transmanifesto(never originally published) #BODYI originally wrote this in September of 2014, four years into my medical and social transition and never published it. I think it felt too honest at the time. Maybe a little TOO in-between. Reading it now, twelve […]
The Coming Out Letter to My Friends
A memoir of becoming; written as it happened.The Coming Out LetterJuly 17, 2010From The Butchelor (never originally published) #COMING OUTSixteen years ago, four weeks into testosterone, I sat down and wrote the story of how I came out to about to the first forty people at once... And then I never hit publish. I found […]
I believe in MORE (not less)
I believe, I still have time to find love in my (late) 40’s. I didn’t necessarily expect to STILL be looking (?) at the ripe (young!) age of 47! 😉 And to be 100% honest, I’m still not sure that I AM “looking“, right now... I DO feel like, I’m—at least (maybe? finally?)—OPENING to the […]
God Loves Diversity
A memoir of becoming; written as it happened.AARON EMBREYCREATIVE HUMANVIEW ALL POSTSGod Loves DiversityMy relationship with God has always been complicated. Mostly, because of the people who were standing between me and God (i.e. The Men of my religion growing up). Those outside people and belief systems made my inner (personal) relationship with “the Divine” […]
Celebrating (My) Female-bodied Masculinity
I’m sharing a new series from my archives to celebrate my past and expand my story that I’m sharing here on Transmanifesto.This is an old post (with a new edit) from my first personal blog, THE BUTCHELOR c. 2008-2010~ISHMuch love, more soon,Aaron———————————————————————-Defining: ButchWritten by the butchelorOh, where to even begin? “Butch” — it’s a word […]
Let’s Begin At The Beginning…
I was born in the Year of Our Lord, 1976, to a GOOD, Christian family in the heart of conservative East Texas. And for as long as I can remember being a human being, I remember being “different” from others around me.Other misfits might say the exact same thing about their own experiences as outsiders […]
Black & White Questions
What if, black and white aren’t only black and white?What if, any two, opposite or binary points (or beings) are actually just two parts or points within a spectrum of other parts or points (or beings)?What if, black and white and an entire rainbow of others exist together in-between, unique parts of the same whole?What […]
I’m Following Curiosity Through Fear
Whenever I start feeling uncertain or afraid of taking the next step, I (re)focus on my biggest question. And that’s it.Then, I keep following my curiosity. I ask questions. I experiment.Sometimes, curiosity evolves into creativity.Sometimes I’m compelled to take a new action….“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to […]
All the Fears About Change
This was a hard blog post to find and read again after so many years. It’s difficult to think back on this painful time of intense identity crisis. And it was definitely a legit crisis for me. I’m not sure why I feel compelled to share this again here. I mean, why am I digging […]
A Letter From My 14 Year Old Self
I found this handwritten note folded into a tight square, with skills of a 14 year old girl teetering on the brink of teenage angst and intense, closeted confusion. Looking back now, I feel so much heartache for this young girlboi who was SO desperately searching for anyone else in the world who felt like […]
A change for the better?
View fullsize Immediately after sharing these thoughts on my personal Facebook page, ye ole inner critic took over my thoughts…I knew it. Dammit.I’d forgotten about something when I wrote it…What about ALL the onslaught of rage and fear and confusion that I STILL feel whenever I think about the rise of open racism and mass […]
Nine Years on HRT
A memoir of becoming; written as it happened.2019May 22, 2019Transition, Change From the Archives9 Years on HRTContemplating ChangeThere’s no way I could’ve known just how many changes I’d face in those early years.When I first started down this path of social and medical transition—of course, I expected the outer stuff to change.You know, ALL the […]
Transtories Ep. #001
Here’s a short video about where I’ve been, where I’m going now, and what I’ll be sharing next in TRANSTORIES… This first vlog is about my personal transition and an update on HRT as I start the 9th year of my medical transition. Also an introduction to Transmanifesto, a new personal + collaborative project about […]
Time for Something New
No doubt, it’s an interesting time to be alive and creating new things on our tiny blue dot…The relics of old notions, like “corporate day jobs”, are fading fast into new ways of working (and being) in the world.People have new sensitivities, proclivities, and preferences for transparency and authenticity.And more than ever, we’re valuing systems […]
Negotiating with Fear
Stages of Transformation: Pt. 2 The FeedbackI found a tipping point in all the discomfort.I realized, I could either keep the pain (and maybe eventually become the pain). Or I could do something else or take new action that might lead me towards something—else, or at the very least, help me find a little relief.I couldn’t […]
The process of change…
……(approximately) Stages of Transformation Pt. 1 DissonanceThis is where my personal transition (and that process of change) began.I felt… uncomfortable…And I mean, not like, socks-or-panties-slightly-bunched uncomfortable... I’m talking perpetual, consistent, indescribable discomfort… More like — bunched-socks-and-panties-for-infinity-with-no-opposable-thumbs…So, D I S C O M F O R T.It was an INTENSE unease inside my skin.I felt that broad, overarching, and […]
A Note About Value
our Unique Views are Valid AND ValuableIn addition to encouraging sensitive young artists to create and change, one of the (unwritten) reasons WHY I created this space, is because of the online platform it provides… See, I needed a method, and place, and a reason to share some of the information I’ve found most helpful […]
What’s Your Story?
Every human being on Earth has a unique view this world. And we’re all born wildly creative.We can offer a one-of-a-kind peek into the realities of Life from our distinct vantage point—from THIS particular seat on this ride around the sun and stars and wherever else we are. All of our perspectives are valid and […]
How I’ve Chosen to Change (part 1)
I’m still learning to speak and share my truth—despite any fear that comes along with the process of change.This project is scary AND exciting. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference. And sometimes fear wins.Sharing any new idea, unique perspective, or earnest truth is a terrifying process. Whether it’s online, with a new project launch […]
Creating a Change
I've been struggling with where to begin and what to say (again) and how I might best use my voice as a transgender person of privilege (i.e. outwardly perceived as male—and a white male, at that) in these divisive times of change and transition for this country and planet and all of humanity.Change isn’t always easy and […]
Seeing, Appreciating, and Reinforcing these Ripples of Love
I love when a pulse ripples into waves and into movement and revolution and finally, resolution.I love seeing my feelings expressed in others. I love seeing others express how they feel.I love when we feel moved to use our voices and take action to make real change happen.I love Us united in love, not divided in […]
Modeling a New Kind of Man
I love that transgender and other gender nonconforming people are helping us to broaden our definitions of what it means to be "male"/"masculine" and "female"/"feminine". I also love that we're coming to understand that, while there are two distinct energies, those two energies are expressed through infinite hues, layers, combinations, and individual expressions of "gender".I think […]
Please Choose Love
I’ll never forget the night I learned what it meant to be gay…I was in the third grade, and we were living in a small, rural town in East Texas. That particular night I was laying on the floor watching The Love Boat. I’m pretty sure my Dad wouldn’t have let me watch it if he’d […]
God and Me and What I Believe About Us Both (Right Now)
After decades of struggle and suffering around my spiritual identity, I've made my peace with God**. So, now, God and me? We’re good. Better than good, actually—better than ever.I sketched a picture because it’s still a little hard for me to find words to describe, exactly, how my relationship with God has changed and evolved over the years… My […]
RECENT WRITINGS
From The Blog
When I Feel Depressed
A memoir of becoming; written as it happened.When I Feel DepressedSeptember 26, 2018From Transmanifesto(never originally published) #DARKHOURSPresent-day intro A note before you read: this one goes into the dark. And it also comes out the other side. I’m publishing it here from the out side. Writing this at fifty years old, here on solid ground, […]
How I’m Healing My Internalized Homophobia and Transphobia
A memoir of becoming; written as it happened.How I’m Healing...November 22, 2018From Transmanifesto(never originally published) #ANDTHENLIFEPresent-day intro: July 8, 2026This is one of the lost drafts I DEF understand why I never published...Admitting that you’ve carried the exact judgment that you’ve been on the receiving end of isn’t just hot take... It feels more like […]
How to Pee in Texas (as a Transman)
A memoir of becoming; written as it happened.How to Pee in Texas...September 25, 2018From Transmanifesto(never originally published) #LIFEOf all the things I could write about, here we are: in the toilet. I drafted this in 2018, when bathroom bills were the weather in Texas, and never published it. I'm publishing it now because the awkward […]