STORIES ABOUT TRANSITION & TOOLS FOR CREATION

WELCOME to the Blog!

A NOTE BEFORE THE POSTS

Creativity has been part of my identity for as long as I can remember...

And in a way, so has change.

I don’t think there’s ever been a time when I haven’t been in the process of making a change (i.e. “transition”) or making something new (“creation”).

For a long time, I only created or changed for other people. I’d never really created anything for myself until I started writing to/for myself, on the internet.

My very first “serious” blog was called, THE BUTCHELOR, and it was actually pretty badass. I loved that blog. I loved writing there. It was my first REAL creative outlet for self-expression. That little blog helped me navigate some BIG doubts, questions, and changes in my young adult life.

You can still read it—I’ve reposted its contents, here (tagged, The Butchelor).

I definitely still have a lot to say about who I am, how I’m creating, and why I’m still changing… But nowadays, I mostly find myself writing about the processes of creativity and change. About the lessons I’ve learned. And the lessons I’m still learning.

This personal project is a perpetual work in progress, like I’m forever in the process of becoming more ME.

the WRITINGS

Here are my personal stories and insights about transformation and change...

You can also check out vintage content from my old, archived websites by clicking one of the buttons below...

THE BUTCHELOR / ARCHIVE POSTS

GENDERFUL / ARCHIVE POSTS

I believe in MORE (not less)

I believe, I still have time to find love in my (late) 40’s. I didn’t necessarily expect to STILL be looking (?) at the ripe (young!) age of 47! 😉 And to be 100% honest, I’m still not sure that I AM “looking“, right now... I DO feel like, I’m—at least (maybe? finally?)—OPENING to the […]

God Loves Diversity

STORIES ABOUT TRANSITION & TOOLS FOR CREATIONAARON EMBREYCREATIVE HUMANVIEW ALL POSTSGod Loves DiversityMy relationship with God has always been complicated. Mostly, because of the people who were standing between me and God (i.e. The Men of my religion growing up). Those outside people and belief systems made my inner (personal) relationship with “the Divine” even […]

Celebrating (My) Female-bodied Masculinity

I’m sharing a new series from my archives to celebrate my past and expand my story that I’m sharing here on Transmanifesto.This is an old post (with a new edit) from my first personal blog, THE BUTCHELOR c. 2008-2010~ISHMuch love, more soon,Aaron———————————————————————-Defining: ButchWritten by the butchelorOh, where to even begin? “Butch” — it’s a word […]

Let’s Begin At The Beginning…

I was born in the Year of Our Lord, 1976, to a GOOD, Christian family in the heart of conservative East Texas. And for as long as I can remember being a human being, I remember being “different” from others around me.Other misfits might say the exact same thing about their own experiences as outsiders […]

Black & White Questions

What if, black and white aren’t only black and white?What if, any two, opposite or binary points (or beings) are actually just two parts or points within a spectrum of other parts or points (or beings)?What if, black and white and an entire rainbow of others exist together in-between, unique parts of the same whole?What […]

I’m Following Curiosity Through Fear

Whenever I start feeling uncertain or afraid of taking the next step, I (re)focus on my biggest question. And that’s it.Then, I keep following my curiosity. I ask questions. I experiment.Sometimes, curiosity evolves into creativity.Sometimes I’m compelled to take a new action….“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to […]

All the Fears About Change

This was a hard blog post to find and read again after so many years. It’s difficult to think back on this painful time of intense identity crisis. And it was definitely a legit crisis for me. I’m not sure why I feel compelled to share this again here. I mean, why am I digging […]

A Letter From My 14 Year Old Self

I found this handwritten note folded into a tight square, with skills of a 14 year old girl teetering on the brink of teenage angst and intense, closeted confusion. Looking back now, I feel so much heartache for this young girlboi who was SO desperately searching for anyone else in the world who felt like […]

A change for the better?

View fullsize Immediately after sharing these thoughts on my personal Facebook page, ye ole inner critic took over my thoughts…I knew it. Dammit.I’d forgotten about something when I wrote it…What about ALL the onslaught of rage and fear and confusion that I STILL feel whenever I think about the rise of open racism and mass […]

Nine Years on HRT

STORIES ABOUT TRANSITION & TOOLS FOR CREATION2019May 22, 2019Transition, Change From the Archives9 Years on HRTContemplating ChangeThere’s no way I could’ve known just how many changes I’d face in those early years.When I first started down this path of social and medical transition—of course, I expected the outer stuff to change.You know, ALL the physical […]

Transtories Ep. #001

Here’s a short video about where I’ve been, where I’m going now, and what I’ll be sharing next in TRANSTORIES… This first vlog is about my personal transition and an update on HRT as I start the 9th year of my medical transition. Also an introduction to Transmanifesto, a new personal + collaborative project about […]

Time for Something New

No doubt, it’s an interesting time to be alive and creating new things on our tiny blue dot…The relics of old notions, like “corporate day jobs”, are fading fast into new ways of working (and being) in the world.People have new sensitivities, proclivities, and preferences for transparency and authenticity.And more than ever, we’re valuing systems […]

Negotiating with Fear

Stages of Transformation: Pt. 2 The FeedbackI found a tipping point in all the discomfort.I realized, I could either keep the pain (and maybe eventually become the pain). Or I could do something else or take new action that might lead me towards something—else, or at the very least, help me find a little relief.I couldn’t […]

The process of change…

……(approximately) Stages of Transformation Pt. 1 DissonanceThis is where my personal transition (and that process of change) began.I felt… uncomfortable…And I mean, not like, socks-or-panties-slightly-bunched uncomfortable... I’m talking perpetual, consistent, indescribable discomfort… More like — bunched-socks-and-panties-for-infinity-with-no-opposable-thumbs…So, D I S C O M F O R T.It was an INTENSE unease inside my skin.I felt that broad, overarching, and […]

A Note About Value

our Unique Views are Valid AND ValuableIn addition to encouraging sensitive young artists to create and change, one of the (unwritten) reasons WHY I created this space, is because of the online platform it provides… See, I needed a method, and place, and a reason to share some of the information I’ve found most helpful […]

Language Creates

“We are made of language…”

What’s Your Story?

Every human being on Earth has a unique view this world. And we’re all born wildly creative.We can offer a one-of-a-kind peek into the realities of Life from our distinct vantage point—from THIS particular seat on this ride around the sun and stars and wherever else we are. All of our perspectives are valid and […]

How I’ve Chosen to Change (part 1)

I’m still learning to speak and share my truth—despite any fear that comes along with the process of change.This project is scary AND exciting. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference. And sometimes fear wins.Sharing any new idea, unique perspective, or earnest truth is a terrifying process. Whether it’s online, with a new project launch […]

Creating a Change

I've been struggling with where to begin and what to say (again) and how I might best use my voice as a transgender person of privilege (i.e. outwardly perceived as male—and a white male, at that) in these divisive times of change and transition for this country and planet and all of humanity.Change isn’t always easy and […]

Seeing, Appreciating, and Reinforcing these Ripples of Love

I love when a pulse ripples into waves and into movement and revolution and finally, resolution.I love seeing my feelings expressed in others. I love seeing others express how they feel.I love when we feel moved to use our voices and take action to make real change happen.I love Us united in love, not divided in […]

Modeling a New Kind of Man

I love that transgender and other gender nonconforming people are helping us to broaden our definitions of what it means to be "male"/"masculine" and "female"/"feminine". I also love that we're coming to understand that, while there are two distinct energies, those two energies are expressed through infinite hues, layers, combinations, and individual expressions of "gender".I think […]

Please Choose Love

I’ll never forget the night I learned what it meant to be gay…I was in the third grade, and we were living in a small, rural town in East Texas. That particular night I was laying on the floor watching The Love Boat. I’m pretty sure my Dad wouldn’t have let me watch it if he’d […]

God and Me and What I Believe About Us Both (Right Now)

After decades of struggle and suffering around my spiritual identity, I've made my peace with God**. So, now, God and me? We’re good. Better than good, actually—better than ever.I sketched a picture because it’s still a little hard for me to find words to describe, exactly, how my relationship with God has changed and evolved over the years… My […]

GENDERFUL TALKS Ep.4: Xavier

I found a few of Xavier's videos on YouTube, and I knew immediately that I wanted to talk with him. My intuition was spot on. We had a great conversation, and I can't wait for you to hear more from Xay's incredible perspective on transition, expression, fighting/finding femininity, connecting with/caring for our bodies, asking for what […]

GENDERFUL Talks: Interview Series

11996912_697777853690018_9193813991697876337_n 12003936_697778433689960_4014179399294919606_n 11219126_697778983689905_2028758735097411037_n I just wanted to share a new video/interview series on the YouTube channel for my latest project (GENDERFUL).The first three episodes are up, and I have several more interviews (AND a few solo vlogs) in the works for the coming weeks.So far, my conversations have been with other transmasculine folks, but I'm excited to include a wide spectrum of gender identities […]

Three Lessons I’ve Learned from Starting a YouTube Channel

I've really only just begun this YouTube adventure, but I've already learned three interesting and valuable lessons about this creative process:I really enjoy editing! I think it's where much of the story is actually told. Sure, content is king, but the edit makes it sing like (a) Queen 😉 Whenever I'm editing, I feel a certain […]

GENDERFUL TALKS Ep.3: Skylar

Skylar Kergil has been sharing his personal transition story on YouTube since 2009, when he was 17 years old. Needless to say, over the last six years he's become an expert in living authentically, expressing openly, and courageously sharing his truth. He continually creates inspiring content for his YouTube channel, Skylarkeven, and plants seeds of positivity and […]

GENDERFUL TALKS Ep.2: Forest

If you've been reading GENDERFUL for any length of time, you've likely seen some of Forest's thoughtful (and thought-provoking) videos that I've previously shared.Forest's open, curious nature allows him to explore the complex ideas around what it means and how it is to be transgender, and he shares his insight in a way that's both approachable and informative for a diverse audience.I was really excited to […]

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