I believe, I still have time to find love in my (late) 40’s.
I didn’t necessarily expect to STILL be looking (?) at the ripe (young!) age of 47! 😉
And to be 100% honest, I’m still not sure that I AM “looking“, right now…
I DO feel like, I’m—at least (maybe? finally?)—OPENING to the possibility of having romantic and/or sexual intimacy, again, for the first time, in a long time.
All those question marks probably have a little something to do with the fact that I spent the entirety of my 20s (and half of my 30s!) looking for love in *literally* ALL the wrong places…
Now, I’m 47, and I’ve been single since just before starting my social/medical/physical transition, over 13 years ago.
I do have MANY intimate, beautiful relationships in my life—that (still) do not define me, anymore than the fact that I do NOT, currently, have a romantic or seggsual partner or partners.
And I truly, sincerely, earnestly feel OKAY with that… FINALLY.
But—is that (truly, sincerely) ALL that I want from this life?
To simply, feel… “okay”?
Sometimes, I feel like I AM (truly, etc.) OKAY with being “okay”… Forever…
Sometimes, it feels like (maybe?) I’m actually, *supposed* to be alone and flying solo, this lifetime.
Or maybe (?) that’s just what’s true for me, right now…
I can’t imagine having the extra time/attention/energy/money (*right now*) to give or gift to an intimate romantic relationship.
So, part of me doesn’t feel (quite) READY.
But I suppose things happen all the time before we feel “ready” for them…
Do we EVER, actually feel prepared for our next, new adventures in life?
Maybe, I’m just (a LOT) out of practice. And (a little!) scared, (!) TBH…
It’s a bit weird to even contemplate the possibility of having a romantic and/or sexual partner (or partners!), again, after so many years—over a decade—of being (mostly) single…
But I AM (gradually) feeling a bit more open to the possibilities… Right now, finally.
So, I guess, that means I (STILL!) believe in the possibility of MORE.